Headin' South to the House

THURSDAY, AUGUST 30^th; Whitefish to Great Falls, 260 miles

We wake up with the sun and head to it.  That’s right, Whitefish to Glacier Park and the “Going to the Sun” Road.  

Glacier Park is true scenic beauty and the Going to the Sun Road winds its way up, over, and down through it.  This is one of those roads where you wanna stop at every turnout ‘cause there’s something spectacular to see every bit of the way.  Wowsa!  At the bottom it’s morning tea at St. Mary’s and then it’s about 20 miles or so of one of the best motorcycling roads through the rolling countryside in Montana before we get to the flatter part of the Blackfeet Indian Reservation.

We roll into Great Falls and the O’Haire Motor Inn where management has learned of the Pale Riders arrival.  The O’Haire Motor Inn has a bar complete with a glass sided pool full of MERMAIDS.  That’s right; the Northern Odyssey has a Siren moment of its own.  Here’s a Mermaid decked out in her Pale Rider Northern Odyssey Tour T-shirt.  Good one!

Of course, after an intro like that to the entire bar the Pale Riders are totally famous and we mix easily with fellow travelers.  

Charlie, Fiona, Denis and Tom

It’s me, Denis, and Charlie and then at some point it’s just down to me and Denis.

Denis and Fiona share a blue drink.  Blue is God's way of saying, "Don't drink it!"

Now, Fiona (which was already my all-time favorite Irish girl name), pictured above had not read this Blog at the time she made the comment that had Denis and I both howling and shaking our heads.  After Charlie left Fiona says (with a beautiful Irish lilt), “So, what was up with your friend?  He seemed like some kind of innocent bystander.”   If you’re not laughing at that with me then you don’t remember the comment I made on the Blog regarding the scene in the restaurant in Jasper when Denis had lost the rain bet.  Fiona didn’t get the whole thing exactly right but, after all, she had just met Charlie and didn’t know him like I did.

Innocent bystander?  You make the call.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Glacier National Park, Going to the Sun Road.

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  Irish girls named “Fiona” are always Patriots, especially when they are such great judges of character.

RAIN: No, 6 outta 16

JOKE OF THE DAY:  Paddy O’Reilly walks into and bar with a steering wheel sticking out of the fly of his pants.  Seamus, the bartender says, “Paddy, do ya know ya got a steering wheel sticking out of your fly?” and Paddy says, “I know, it’s been driving me nuts.”

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31^st; Great Falls to Sheridan, 380 miles

We’re outta Great Falls and we cross the Montana plains ‘cause it’s “the way”.  It’s “the way” to the Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument where Custer’s 7^th Calvary met Lakota and Cheyenne warriors.  You’ve heard of it, right? 

The Little Bighorn Battlefield is quite moving with many interesting things to see including a National Cemetery and a Monument to the fallen Indian warriors; there's even a monument to the fallen horses, too.  At “Last Stand Hill” there are headstone markers where the soldiers fell, including Custer himself.  There’s also a 5 mile road going through the entire area of the Battlefield proper and when I ride through it I make sure I blast “Garryowen”, the 7^th Calvary’s fight song, over my bike speakers so as to soothe the spirits of the fallen soldiers there.  I even had a Vietnam Vet at the Visitor’s Center tell me how much he enjoyed “Garryowen” coming from my speakers.  I like to think he was channeling the spirits of the soldiers of the 7^th Cav; a Blessing for me.

Custer's Monument is the one with the dark fascia

Go there and pay your respects, too.  See more here:  http://www.nps.gov/libi/index.htm

After the Battlefield Monument we head down to Sheridan, Wyoming and Scott’s house.  Scott and I were best of friends back in the days of the WLEA and when he found out the Pale Riders were coming through Sheridan he insisted that all of us stay at his house.  Scott took us out to dinner at the “Sheridan Inn” which was Buffalo Bill Cody’s place when he was in Sheridan.  We got the Tour of the place, along with the ghost stories, and walked where Buffalo Bill himself sat while performers auditioned for the “Wild West Show”.  Pretty cool stuff.  And, more importantly to me, it was great to see Scott again after so many years and catch up on old times.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  While Scott insisted he was making every effort to be the Pinhead, his display of Western Hospitality made him a total Patriot in everybody’s book, and that's sayin' alot considering how hard some people are to please.  Thanks again, Scott.

RAIN: No again, 6 outta 17

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 1^st; Sheridan to Red Lodge, 320 miles

WHAT A GREAT DAY!

Alan and Scott on his Harley

We kiss Scott goodbye early and head into town for breakfast.  Based on Scott’s recommendation we breakfast at the Sheridan Palace Café.  This was a treat because not only was the food exceptional, but our waitress, Holly, was so great that Denis and I discussed opening up a restaurant just so we could hire her! 

After breakfast we walked Main Street and wandered into a couple of shops.  The ABSOLUTE BEST FIND was King’s Saddlery’s Western Museum.  Way cool western stuff; very interesting.  WOW.  This alone is worth a trip to Sheridan.  If you’re ever in the area DO NOT MISS THIS MUSEUM.

After our fill of western memorabilia we backtrack a few miles and exit the high-speed at Ranchester to begin our ride over the Bighorn Mountains; 14A, another favorite road.  On the way up it’s great climbing turns on excellent pavement.  At the top it’s morning tea at the “Bear Lodge”, (which is also a good lunch stop but it was only 10:30) and then more headin’ west basically on top of the Bighorns to Medicine Wheel, a holy Native American site.  One of the interesting features is it’s about a 500 meter or so walk from the parking lot to the Medicine Wheel itself and it’s uphill in both directions!  However, we didn’t make it that far ‘cause the attraction administrators still haven’t got it quite figured out and before you get to the parking lot it’s three miles of bad dirt road, so while I've done it before myself on a Harley, I can’t really recommend it for bikes and not everyone in our group was up for it.

The warnings start about 200 meters past the Medicine Wheel turn-off: 10% Downgrades and Sharp Turns!  Turn Back NOW!  Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here!  FUN!  And it’s a race down the hill.  Skid marks on the pavement and on the concrete guard rail barriers on the way down remind us of others for whom the road was a bit too much.  It was much like this in so many ways…

The view from the top all the way to the bottom made Charlie comment that he could see all the way to California.  Sharon said she missed seeing the view 'cause she was afraid to look down.  It’s SO good!

When we regrouped at the bottom we all checked out our tires (‘cause we were using all of them) and Lisa decided that she had worn hers out on the descent and made arrangements to ride up to Billings to get a tire change and meet us later in Red Lodge; and that worked – all good.

Denis and I and Charlie and Sharon motored across the flats from Lovell to Cody for lunch at the Irma Hotel, built by Buffalo Bill and named after his daughter.   Thinking back to the Rock Creek Lodge so many days ago we even had a couple of orders of Rocky Mountain oysters there.

TRAVEL TIP:  We have all been to the Buffalo Bill Museum in Cody so we skipped by it this year.  However, the Cody Museum is a MUST DO for you.  Do not miss it.

We leave Cody after lunch and it’s a short ride to the beginning of the Chief Joseph Highway.  The Chief Joseph Highway is one of the top THREE roads I’ve ever been on.  Pure motorcycling heaven; oh yeah, Baby!  The scenery is friggin’ “___________!!!”  But all good things end and 50 miles later so does the Chief Joseph Highway.  However, Chief Joe ends right where Beartooth Pass begins.  Beartooth Pass is one of the TWO top roads I’ve ever been on.  Pure motorcycling heaven; oh yeah, Baby!  The scenery is friggin’ “___________!!!”  Yeah, I know I repeated myself but these two roads are something special. 

It’s off of Beartooth Pass and we roll on in to Red Lodge, Montana – on Saturday night – of a three day weekend.  Oh yeah.

It’s a quick clean-up at the Comfort Inn (location recommendation) and a short walk back down Broadway to the action in Red Lodge.  Our first stop is the “Bull and Bear Saloon” where our bartender friend Jannie from last year’s “Riding On, Boldly” Tour is still working.  It’s great for Denis and I to see her again and we all catch up on the past year. 

In the Bull and Bear Saloon with Jannie

After that we’re all off to the “Beaver Creek Backcountry Kitchen and Wine Bar”; Jannie, too.  “Beaver Creek” is a gourmet restaurant in the heart of Red Lodge and the Elk Medallions were fantastic!

Once dinner is done just after 9:00 we kiss Jannie goodbye (‘til next year) and Denis and I head next door to the “Snow Creek Saloon” while the rest of our group decide they would rather walk in the rain and go to bed early than follow Pale Riders into a bar in Red Lodge, Montana in spite of 'how many times did I tell them there would be fun'.  Oy.  In Charlie’s defense, he did tell me at dinner that the ride over Beartooth Pass had upset his stomach.

Anyways, when we walk in the band is already on the stage that is kind of like a balcony overlooking the bar and dance floor and THE BAND IS GREAT.  They take a short break soon after we get there and while we’re now able to talk I use the opportunity to introduce myself to the biggest guy in the room figuring that if there’s gonna be any trouble (we’re in a happenin’ bar in Montana) I kinda want to figure out which side he’s gonna be on.  His name is Robert; he’s from Germany but speaks pretty good English with a thick, typical accent.  He’s traveling in a car with three of his buddies who look harmless enough, but who's side Robert’s gonna be on later if the fight starts could go either way, so I file that one.

The band starts playing again and now the crowd is warmed up good.  Fun!  I even texted Lisa and Tim to get them to come back to the bar for the fun, but alas, uh…no, in spite of 'how many times did I tell them there would be fun' (did I say that already?).  For the next several hours everybody’s dancing everywhere!  There’s even girls dancing on the bar! 

"Dancin' on the bars and tables..." - Long Cool Woman

We meet a couple, Mark and Jen, who rode their Harley in from Buffalo, Wyoming, and then there’s Sandra and Francesca from Switzerland who insist on dancing.  And, as I said, this goes on for several hours.

Sandra, Denis and Francesca

Now, we’ve been keeping an eye on Robert through all this ‘cause he’s been drinkin’ and if there’s gonna be trouble, he’s it.  Except, the more we watch him the more we like him. 

Even Robert and Alan dance together

In fact, we begin to realize that Robert is actually a Pale Rider and the only thing he’s missing is his Challenge Coin.  So, sometime after midnight there was a Coin Presentation Ceremony, and “It Is Our Honor to Inscribe Robert’s Name on the Role of This Company of Scholars.”

Coin Presentation Ceremony

The rest of the photos not shown here look like the ending credit sequence from the movie "The Hangover", and by 2:00 am we figured we’ve had all the fun we can stand (more like “while we still CAN stand) and Denis and I walk back to the motel under the stars.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  What a day!  Scott, Holly, King’s Saddlery Museum, going up highway 14A, Bear Lodge, going DOWN highway 14A, Rocky Mountain Oysters at the Irma, Chief Joseph Highway, Beartooth Pass, seeing Jannie, Elk Medallions, THE BAND, dancing girls on the Bar, Mark and Jen, Sandra and Francesca, Robert!  Hard to pick.

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  Robert, the newest Coin holder, who was a Pale Rider long before we met him.

RAIN:  Technical rain on Chief Joseph Highway,  7 outta 18

PHOTO OF THE DAY:

Lisa, Sweet Lisa.  You'll always be my "Melisande" and the stars will write your name.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2^nd, Red Lodge back to the Cabin in Jackson, 230 miles

We get a late start out of Red Lodge (good thing for me and Denis) ‘cause we figured we wanted it to warm up just a bit before we go back up Beartooth Pass.  Now, if you refer to the Pale Rider Handbook you will notice that it is very specific about backtracking; it is discouraged, and there are several reasons for this that we don’t have to go into here.  However, please notice in the Handbook that one of the expected, permitted and encouraged, exceptions to this rule is Beartooth Pass.  Yep, we love to go over it in both directions.

Anyways, we clutch out at 9:00 and head up.  At the top we’re not actually IN the clouds but we can reach up and touch the virga (an observable streak or shaft of precipitation that falls from a cloud but evaporates before reaching the ground) that lingers below the clouds and does not actually count as rain.

The pass is cool, clear, and we’re the only ones on it.  If you can make it over the pass in less than 50 minutes you done real good!

We regroup for morning tea to actually warm up in Cooke City and that’s where Denis and I tell the rest that we’ll meet them at the Cabin.  Most of the ride after Cooke City is through Yellowstone and, if you’ve been through the Park countless times like we have, 35 mph can be a bit tedious.  Of course, there was that one part where we shared the road with an angry Bison, angry because we wanted to get past him.  That was quite interesting.  We continue through Yellowstone and down into Grand Teton National Park and back to the Cabin.

The others arrive several hours behind us and we spend a quiet evening over pizza before Denis and I lead the way to bed since me and Denis gotta sleep sometime.

RAIN:  None, 7 outta 19

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 3^rd; Cabin to Ogden, 250 miles

This is where we part company, Charlie and Sharon to Virginia, and Tim and Lisa to Idaho.

“Blah, blah, blah…Nice ridin’ with ya…”  Yeah, sure.

Denis and I start headin’ south and hit another great road out of Woodruff to Ogden.  More fun!

Early in the afternoon, we arrive at Dan and Melissa’s house. Woo Hoo!  

Dan cooks...

...while Melissa and Denis carry on!

Dan and I go back to our working days in Jackson Hole but it’s been years since we’ve seen each other.  What a great time we had with them!  Reminiscing, catching up, and making plans for the future.  Dan has even picked out a color for the bike he’s gonna ride on next year’s tour.

And, as we sat around late in the evening, the City Council of the City of Ogden put on a fireworks display to commemorate the Pale Riders visit to their fair city, and congratulate us on yet another fantastic tour.  What a perfect ending to the last full day we spend on the road for the Northern Odyssey

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Old friends, reminiscing, making future plans.

PATRIOTS OF THE DAY:   Old friends, reminiscing, making future plans.

RAIN:  “Blue skies shinin’ on me”, 7 outta 20

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4^th, Ogden to Las Vegas, 480 miles

It’s Tuesday morning after a three day weekend kinda rush hour traffic gettin’ out of Ogden and south through Salt Lake City, but the HOV lanes are wide open and we fly down to, and then on, I-15.  We’re on the high-speed and we’re headin’ for the barn.  We don’t even stop for morning tea until Nephi.  More high speeding southbound and outta Utah and into Arizona and that means the Virgin River Canyon; always fun!  We squirt outta the Canyon and through the slog known as the Nevada desert and we pull into the Villa in Vegas at 2:20 in the afternoon.

And just like that the motorcycling part of this tour is over.

RAIN:  Clearest day yet, 7 outta 21; that’s the final score.

We’re greeted like Homer’s returning heroes and after the hot tub, it’s a BBQ chicken dinner with all the fixin’s with Ms. Teton, Lizzie, Bugsie, Maxie, and Roxie.

It had to end somewhere

WELCOME HOME ULYSSIANS, PALE RIDERS and MOOSE ANARCHISTS

NO FATALITIES, NO CONVICTIONS.  Our streak remains intact.

REBUTTALS ARE WELCOMED AND ENCOURAGED

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 5^th, Las Vegas to Sydney

Yep, there’s some repacking and some shuffling, and after lunch I drop Denis off at the airport for his long flight home to Sydney.  I promise to see him soon, which is actually sooner than you might think…

WATCH THIS SPACE

O Canada

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25th; Valemount to Jasper, 400 kilometers

So, we have breakfast, kiss the warden goodbye and make good on our jailbreak.  We head, basically, east to Jasper.  Our first stop is for the cover photo postcard shot of all of us at the Mount Robson Park sign about 30 klicks outta Valemount.  The weather did not cooperate but we took this photo anyways since we were there.

Imagine Mount Robson behind us somewhere

We continue on into Banff National Park and through to Jasper.  As we enter Jasper we are welcomed by the "Welcome to the Jasper Motorcycle Run" sign. They knew we were coming.  http://jaspermotorcyclerun.com  So, after a quick pit stop we head up to Maligne Lake with the rest of the bikers in Western Canada.  Fun.  It's lunch at the Lake and then back towards Jasper and the Jasper Park Lodge, and refreshments on the patio overlooking Jasper Lake; how sophisticated we are.

We check into the Athabasca Hotel and since it's still mid afternoon we do a bit of a walk about and

some shopping and then it's dinner at Earl's, which is immediately across the street from the hotel.  The planked salmon was the best I've ever had!

TIP FOR YOU:  When you're in Jasper do it exactly as we did it; refreshments at the Lodge, stay at the Athabasca, and dine at Earl's on the second floor balcony.

After dinner it's straight to one of the hotel's three bars where we have some fun with some fellow bikers and then play liar's dice until we put everybody else in the bar to bed (to sleep?).  The rest of my traveling companions are beginning to learn the game's nuance; some more than others.

Lisa is a liar

So, when we leave the bar Denis is still wearing his "Ulysses Club" t-shirt (I know there's a joke in there somewhere) and we get stopped by Boyd and Lyn from Adelaide; fellow Ulyssians!  They started the conversation by identifying themselves as Ulyssians and then asking Denis where he was from.  I jumped in and said, "This is your President!".  Boyd apologized for not immediately recognizing Denis.  Imagine the fun we had with that and them after that!

A bit of a walk about and then bed.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  The road to Maligne Lake and the impromptu wild mountain goat "petting zoo" along the highway.

Goat jam

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  The young lady at the Banff Park entrance booth was helpful, friendly, knowledgeable and lovely.  They should put her on the poster.

RAIN:  Yup, technical + at most, but rain it was: 6 outta 11.  I WIN!!!!

At dinner there was an effort by the "pain in the ass innocent bystanders" (no offense intended, it's an old joke) to get me and Denis to go for a double or nothing for an additional two days but Denis declined by immediately heading to a liquor store to buy the big bottle of Baily's Irish Creme with which to pay his debt.  We'll keep counting, but per the Pale Rider Rulebook, I am no longer allowed to gloat.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 26th; Jasper to Banff, 320 kilometers 

It's a perfectly clear and cool morning when we depart Jasper and head southeast on the "Icefields Parkway" aka "Promenade de Glaciers" (say the "Promenade" thing wit a french accent).

It's a stop at Athabasca Falls and then Sunwapta Falls; DO THESE THINGS.  We then head to Athabasca Glacier which is immediately in front of Mount Columbia [3747m] the highest point in Alberta and where I got my picture taken in exactly the same place and exactly the same pose as I did almost exactly 20 years to the day of another one in my scrapbook, except this time I'm not standing on the glacier.

I stood here on the glacier in 1992

Then, we motor on down to Lake Louise and "le Chateau" (again said wit a french accent).  We lunch on the patio overlooking the Lake; how sophisticated we are, still.  The "Corned Bison Brisket Reuben" was possibly the very best sandwich I have ever had in my life; order that.

After lunch it's a leisurely walk along the lake shore and then back on the bikes headed towards Banff.  We take the Bow Valley Parkway, which runs parallel to the highspeed, for part of the way and get as close to Castle Mountain (a holy place for me) and then it's into Banff where we tour the golf course and Bow Falls before checking into the motel.  After a cleanup we walk into town proper for dinner upstairs at "Wild Bill's" a Banff landmark; all excellent.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Look, this is where the scenery is.  Scenery is the highlight and to make it easy on all of us just grab your thesaurus and start with the word "spectacular".  I'll just say, "The scenery was ________!!!!!" and you fill in the blank each time with a different superlative.  Got it?

Some glacier or "Some glacier!"

Castle Mountain, and the faint sound of chanting in the distance

PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  After the photo next to the 1992 sign above was taken I walked the rest of the way to the current toe of the Glacier for this shot:

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXANDRA!  21 years ago today Kristy and I were blessed by the most precious gift and our lives have been enriched beyond description.  

RAIN:  Nope, 6 outta 12

MONDAY, AUGUST 27th, Banff to Banff, 100 kilometers

We sleep in and take a little walk around Banff before a late morning ride around the area lakes and mountains, "The scenery was______!!!!!", ah-ghen.

Denis hams it up

Back in Banff we went for the walk around the Banff Springs Hotel and dined on the patio overlooking the Bow Valley, mountains and golf course; "The scenery was ______!!!!!".  I had the Tuna Foccacia, the best tuna I have ever had; the pattern developing here is delightful.  Sharon mentioned that the golf course fairways looked like greens.  Having played it in the past I must concur.

And even the clouds play into my story...

Do you see it?

Then it was a walk through town and all the shops and then the Irish Pub for dinner and beer; all good.

After dinner we went to the B&B where Charlie and Sharon were staying for a few rounds of Liar's Dice.  OMG, Sharon accused Lisa and I of "partnering up" and before it was over Denis said Tim was "not only a liar but also a cheat!"  All in good fun of course, and we howled with laughter.  Denis and I were still laughing the next morning.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  "The scenery was ______!!!!  and _______!!!! and ______!!!!"  See, it's not easy, is it?

PATRIOTS OR PINHEADS OF THE DAY:  So we're walking from dinner back to the motel and there are four people walking abreast in front of us, arm in arm, taking up the entire sidewalk.  "We're the only ones in the world" oblivious to us walking behind them.  I can't help myself (imagine that) and I start making comments under my breathe, but loud enough for them to hear, but they continue on blocking the sidewalk.  When I get no response, Denis pipes up and says, "I think these people are just holding each other up."  That got their attention and they turned around, laughed and said, "That's exactly what we're doing."  When I caught the Aussie accent from her I jumped in and hooked her arm and said, "Good on ya, I need some help, too." as we all laughed down the street.  It turns out, of course, that they're all from Australia and they know Ulyssians from the Yarra Ranges Branch in Victoria.  What a riot we had right there on the street corner.  Such fun!  Patriots or Pinheads?  You make the call.

Most of us with a bunch of Aussies on a sidewalk

RAIN:  None, 6 outta 13

TUESDAY, AUGUST 28th, Banff to Nelson, 580 kilometers

We bid Banff "adieu" (in a french-like manner) and motor towards Revelstoke.  We're on Trans-Canada Highway 1.  "The scenery was _____!!!!"

Our first stop was the "Spiral Tunnels".  Interesting.  Google it.

At Golden, a town that brings back memories from the "Arctic Circle Tour 1992", the high-speed changes to a two lane but it is still so fantastic.

We enter Canada's Glacier Park for another one of my top 5 roads.  I'll jump back into describing scenery here for you.  If you've ever been to the Grand Tetons in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, my home, you have no doubt marveled at their magnificence and beauty.  It has been said that God made the Grand Tetons in order to prove His existence.  However, the mountains in Glacier Park Canada are so, let's see, ummm "breathtaking", that once you see those you will forever after refer to the Grand Tetons in Jackson Hole as "Les Tetons Petit".  I do.

We lunch at a Bar and Grill in Revelstoke and then it's on wards towards Nelson.  The roads and scenery continue to be "_______!!!!"

After Revelstoke the highway runs into a ferry (cheaper than a bridge) and we arrive at the ferry just as it's loading.

Safety First!

After the ferry we roll on into Nelson.  You may know Nelson as the location for the movie "Roxanne", the Cyrano de Bergerac story starring Steve Martin and Darryl Hanna, a classic chick flick; if you haven't seen it, you should.

It's the Hume Hotel in Nelson (you should stay there, too).  And then it's dinner at a Thai resturant.  Good night.

View from our room at the Hume

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: OMG, more roads, more scenery.

PATRIOT OR PINHEAD OF THE DAY:  No contenders.

RAIN: No, 6 outta 14

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 29th; Nelson to Whitefish, MT, 500 kilometers

This was planned as a shorter day than it turned out to be.  We head outta Nelson and take the "Ferry route" at Balfour instead of the "Bridge Route" and this time we gotta wait for the ferry which, by the way, is the longest free ferry ride in at least all of Canada!  We talk to strangers in line and we get a tour of a tractor pulled camper and, thinking back to Gary's car museum so many days ago, I make a "would ya take" on a 1962 English Daimler on the museum's behalf.  I think I saw some daylight between the husband and wife so we'll see.

Checkin' under the hood

Once we're on the ferry Denis starts chatting with Bruce from Gray Creek, just a ways on the other side from where the ferry is gonna dock, because Bruce has the identical motorcycle that just happens to be waiting for me in Sydney, but more on that later.

What a beautiful Suzuki V-Strom 650

Bruce has just finished a 10 day tour, going as far north as Alaska and we exchange notes and email addresses and have already got a correspondence going with him.  We hope to see Bruce again sometime.  "Hi, Bruce!"

After we get off the ferry it's a little racing with Bruce on his home road, dodging log litter as we race, and then a bit further up we stop at the "Glass House"; a house whose exterior is made up entirely of old embalming fluid bottles.  Interesting.

We leave a note in a bottle behind...

We get to our destination, Whitefish, but we roll on through to Kalispell 'cause Tim has a minor issue and wants to talk to the Harley mechanic there.  We get a little (very little) satisfaction there and then it's back to Whitefish.  Between the ferry wait and ride and the side trip to Kalispell it's a little later than we had hoped when we checked in but still perfect timing as one of Lisa's retiring co-workers comes by to pick us up and take us to the excellent Tupelo "Cajun" restaurant to celebrate his retirement.  Lotsa fun at dinner with Jeff and Jean.

  

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: Whitefish is a great little town.  As many times as I've done this trip I've always stayed in Kalispell but this time Charlie insisted on trying Whitefish.  Good call, Charlie!  It will be Whitefish for me from now on.

TRAVEL TIP:  You may still want to at least go to downtown Kalispell a check out the "Western Outdoor" store and the connected old fashion style Soda Shoppe for ice cream.

PATRIOT OR PINHEAD OF THE DAY:  The U.S. Border Protection Officers who guard our borders are Patriots by definition, but if some of them didn't have a "charisma bypass" they wouldn't be borderline ("borderline", get it?) Pinheads, too.

RAIN: Nuttin' even close, 6 outta 15 

Into Canada and Headin' North

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21^st:  Jackson to Virginia City, 310 miles.

It’s clutch out at the cabin at exactly 0800 and we head to town to meet up with Tim and Lisa waiting for us at the gas stop.  First thing Lisa walks up to me and questions my route!  Huh?  Yep, she actually knows a better way!  I like this girl!

Anyways, it’s over Teton Pass and through the rolling terrain of Southern Idaho.  To a practiced eye the leaves are just starting to turn; the greens are changing and soon the frost will beset the fields and farms, but right now we’re gonna start heading north.

Just out of Ashton, Lisa leads us to a spot on the Warm River where we stand on the dock and throw bread at the huge trout which leap out of the water to catch it.  Cool.   

Lisa and Tim feed fish

After feeding the fish we head up into the Henry’s Fork of the Snake River and Lower and then Upper Mesa Falls; a real treat.  Way to go, Lisa!

It's like I found Lisa at the end of the rainbow

From the Mesa Falls we head up to West Yellowstone, where everyone’s already been, so it’s just a quick lunch stop and then north up the Gallatin River Canyon and Big Sky, Montana.  There’s the afternoon ice cream at the Big Sky Resort Lodge and then we ride the rest of the way into Virginia City, Montana.

Virginia City was at one time the Capitol of the Montana Territory and is now a “Ghost Town” tourist destination.  Every building in it has some National Registry and Historical Society plaque attached to it telling the history. Pretty cool.

Downtown Virginia City

Our accommodations in Virginia City.  Pretty cool.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Everyone seems to agree that the early part of the ride through Southern Idaho was really nice.

PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  At dinner in the Virginia City Café Lisa inquired as to the source of my Superpowers; I told her I didn’t know her well enough yet to disclose that to her :-)  <Reader inserts head shake here>

PINHEAD or PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  We managed to get through it without being annoyed or terribly impressed by anybody.

RAIN:  Late in the day there was some rain and wind.  It wasn’t disqualifying wind but it was a bit annoying*.  4 out of 7.

*  Charlie's note:  It was more than a bit annoying!

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22^nd: Virginia City to Moscow, 480 miles

We’re early outta Virginia City ‘cause we’ve got a long day ahead of us.  Heading north on Highway 2 into Butte, Montana was really great but thanks to some GPS quirks the group got separated for a short time.  Some basic SAR protocols and we met up again in Phillipsburg and headed towards Missoula.  Just south of Missoula we stopped at the Rock Creek Lodge, the home of the annual “Testicle Festival” since 1945 and everybody got to try the local “Rocky Mountain Oysters”, some for the first time.  Tasty testes and fun!

Denis, Alan, Sharon, Charlie, Lisa, Tim and their new favorite finger food

Outta Missoula we headed west and did Lolo Pass.  OMG.  The sign said “Winding Road Next 99 Miles”.  I was having too much fun to stop for photos.  This was my first time on Lolo Pass and I have to tell you that this road has now moved up into my top 5 roads to ride.  Great turns, unbelievable scenery, perfect road surface; if you love “the road” you gotta ride Lolo Pass.

We stayed at the Best Western, University in Moscow and it’s not often I recommend a motel on the road but if you find yourself spending the night in Moscow, Idaho the Best Western should be your choice.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Lolo Pass; exhilarating!

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  Lisa’s nephew, Cody, is a sophomore at the University of Idaho in Moscow.  #60, he’s the starting offensive left tackle for their football team, and he joined us for dinner at the Best Western’s excellent restaurant.  When we met and he shook my hand he gave me a firm handshake; actually, no, that’s wrong - when we met and he shook my hand I thought he crushed it.  I sat next to him at dinner ‘cause I figured my only hope was to be in close to nullify his reach advantage. 

All kiddin’ aside, it was a real pleasure to spend the evening chatting with Cody.  He is a real scholar athlete and a true gentleman brute.  I am proud to know that America produces such fine young men.  I think I’m gonna try hiring him as a property manager.  Go Vandals!

"The rent is due on the 1st!"

Rain:  Nope; 4 out of 8.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 23^rd: Moscow to Kamloops, 500 miles

We take an early start outta Moscow ‘cause it’s a 500 mile day and it’s not gonna be a short 500 miles.  We choose the long route to add some extra scenic interest and we ride around some lakes in Heyburn State Park, south of Coeur D’Alene.  We stopped in Coeur D’Alene for morning tea and then head west into Spokane and then turn north, northwest and cross the US/Canadian border at Midway and then continue on into Kamloops. 

We stayed at a B&B on the river a few miles out of town so we catch some cabs into town and have a good end to a 500 mile day dinner at the local Tap House.  I was so tired from the whole day that by the time we headed home I almost fell asleep in the cab.  Fun!

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: Riding on those roads around the lakes south of Coeur D’Alene was pretty great.

PATRIOT OF THE DAY: As we crossed from Idaho into Washington I got to thinking about whether or not Washington has a helmet law.  Well, it’s only about 15 miles to our turnoff and gas stop so I’ll check there.  Ooops!  Red lights AND siren.  The State Trooper who told me to put my helmet on without giving me a ticket gets today’s Patriot Award.

PINHEAD OF THE DAY: So, we get to the border crossing and I go first to talk to the nice men who guard Canada’s border from, evidently, people like me.  Be advised you, too, will be considered a suspect (and a thoroughly dangerous man) if you cross the border at a lightly used border crossing like Midway.  Weapons?  No.  Alcohol?  No.  Tobacco?  No.  But at this point I got the one questioning me in front of me and his partner positioned behind me to take me out from the back.  Understand, all I’ve done so far is be polite. 

Pepper spray? Yes.  Uh-oh.  “Stand back, sir, and tell me where it is!”  “Blah, blah, blah…don’t you know you’re not allowed to bring pepper spray into Canada.”  My turn, “Um, I figured you allow pepper spray in for bears, don’t you?”  Them, simultaneously, “That’s BEAR spray!”  Oh, okay.  So, be advised, if you plan on defending yourself in Canada you gotta do it with a BIG can of pepper spray with a picture of a bear on it since small cans of pepper spray are considered contraband and not permitted.  Anyways, I got my first cool souvenir as we crossed the border: a receipt for the pepper spray that I “voluntarily surrendered to the crown.”

Now, I know there’s a Pinhead in this story somewhere; you make the call.

RAIN: So, even with all the rules laid out ahead of time sometimes there’s just a situation that calls for a disagreement.  In this particular instance it wasn’t whether it rained or not, it did; in fact, the sky opened up and it poured.  Nope, this disagreement came about as to the definition of “riding bikes”.  I know, it’s hard to believe.  Anyways, the initial judgment ruled “RAIN”, but after an appeal on several levels, the court reversed itself and deemed “NO RAIN.”  Nothing’s easy, but that’s the whole point, isn’t it?  4 out of 9.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24^th: Kamloops to Valemount, 480 kilometers

We get a lazy start outta Kamloops ‘cause it’s kind of an easy day.  We start heading north with a vengeance and reach Clearwater and turn into Wells Gray Provincial Park.  Wells Gray is known for its waterfalls and they are all quite spectacular.

Helmcken Falls; the fourth largest waterfall in Canada

After a tour of all the waterfalls, and that means taking the pavement ‘til there’s pavement no more, and after a great lunch (which is expaned on more below) and a quick primer on Liar's Dice, we head back to the main highway to head north, ah-ghen, to Valemount.

The further north we’re heading the more dramatic the scenery becomes.  Understand, throughout this entire Odyssey we having been riding in some incredible scenery (I mean, you know that IS the point, right?) so there’s no point in just showing you scenery photos and describing how it’s all so fantastic.  If you like scenery just come see it for yourself; I’m just telling you where it is.

Another interesting thing on road trips like this are things you see along the road, giant lumberjacks for example (no photo of that), and many other interesting “objet d’art”.  Take this one for example…

Check out the two dummies on top

Anyways, back to the story.  In Valemount it's dinner at the local "Moose Pub" where the finer points of Liar's Dice begin to be pointed out and the girls' propensity to tell lies, and the men's tendency to believe what the girls say, make it a tough night for Charlie and Tim.

We stay in a B&B that once was the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Station, complete with the jail cells which have now been converted to guest rooms.  Here’s a couple of photos I know many of you have been wishing to see for many years…

HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:  Wells Gray Provincial Park’s Waterfalls

PATRIOT OF THE DAY:  So as we’re heading out of Wells Gray and before we get to the main highway we decide to stop for lunch at the isolated “Black Horse Saloon”.  There’s a tour bus in front of it so we know they’re open.  By the time I walk in Charlie is having a conversation with the proprietor, a completely normal conversation, except I can’t make out what they’re saying.  I move in a little closer so I can hear better but that doesn’t seem to help.  It sounds like English but I don’t get a word.  I figure that blood vessel in my head has finally burst and I’m gonna be pretty much worthless from this point on (like I could get any more worthless).  I turn to Lisa hoping she will recognize the signs of a stroke but, as it turns out, Charlie is exceedingly fluent in German and that’s the language of the moment.  Woo, close one!

So, the Saloon happens to be closed for the private tour bus event but the proprietor tells us if we want to eat BBQ steak for lunch we are welcomed to join the group.  In fact, although he has a couple of price options for us depending on our side dishes he ends up giving us the whole deal, everything included, for the lowest price; and that even included the little transvestite floor show as dessert was served.  For knowing why he is in business and knowing what to do when a customer walks into his saloon, he is a Patriot. Canadian, German, whatever; we’re proud of ya.

RAIN:  Yep, a little more than technical.  5 out of 10.  We're on the cusp.